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Week
20: Can Anyone Stop The Rams?
 My
friends, I'm down, devastated and depressed after Saturday's
tough loss to a suspect Bucs team.
For 40 minutes, things looked so good as the Mighties controlled
the lines of scrimmage and had the Bucs on their heels. Then, like
the sandwich I just ate, it was all gone.
As the clock expired, I felt completely empty inside, despite the
fact that I'd just consumed about a dozen of my colon-cleansing
meatballs. There is no greater pain than a tough Skins loss (bear
in mind that, as I say this, I've never interned for Clinton.)
Meanwhile, I was looking over last week's picks and think some of
my choices may have to be defended.
1. "The Jags win the game but not easily."
Yes, Jacksonville won by 55 but do you think it was easy? Poor Fred
Taylor was dehydrated and half of the Jags starters looked bored
out of their wits when they went to the bench in the third and fourth
quarters.
This game was a lot closer than it looked on television, largely
because the tube lies. Here's an example: On the TV, I look fat
and pathetic and, in real life, I am not very pathetic.
2. "St. Louis is the most overrated team in all of the NF of
L..."
What I meant was "St. Louis is the most overrated city in all
of Missouri," despite the fact that my wife, Lady Fanwood,
was born and raised there. Sorry honey, I'll head for the couch,
now.
3. "As
of this writing, the Colts are the best team in all of football
and the most ready for the postseason. I look for Peyton Manning
to have an enormous day as Indy absolutely smokes Tennessee."
I have no explanation for these comments though my wife reminds
me that I got ahold of some bad nachos while writing last week's
column and, she says, "Ya had the wind somethin' fierce and
ya just didn't look altogether regular."
The 2-2 mark dropped my playoff record to 5-3 with three games to
play.
Last week's MVPs: Lady Fanwood and her beautiful mother,
who spent the entire weekend painting our new home so I could begin
a real relationship with
a newly purchased recliner. The early numbers are in and it looks
like this love could really last (My wife and I are doing well,
also!).
This week's LVP: Dan and Matt Turk, Skins special teams performers.
If I see them in a dark alley, start printing their obituaries.
This weekend's picks:
Sunday
Tennessee at Jacksonville, 12:35 p.m., CBS
Many so-called experts are saying that the Titans don't have a chance
to beat the Jaguars again. Well, if man-faced Elizabeth Taylor can
find eight different men to marry her, I don't think a Tennessee
win is out of the picture.
Watching Saturday's win over Indy, it occurred to me that Titans
safety Blaine Bishop is one of the best tacklers in all of football.
It also occurred to me that my chips were disappearing from the
bag pretty quickly...and I was the only person in the room. Weird.
Prediction: Blaine Bishop gets to know Fred Taylor real well this
weekend.
I remember in '83 when the Skins trashed the Rams 51-7 in their
first playoff game and then struggled to beat the Niners in the
NFC title contest, 24-21. I think the Jags will have a similar hangover
after last week's spanking of Miami but will prevail in the end.
Jaguars, 24-21.
Tampa Bay at St. Louis, 4:15 p.m., Fox
As of this writing, I'm giving the Bucs a 0.5% chance to make
Sunday's visit to St. Louis competitive. I haven't totally eliminated
the possibility, just in case the Tampa management is able to pull
off a trade for an offense prior to entering the dome.
Kurt Warner will go nuts on Tampa's suspect secondary and the Bucs
just won't be able to handle the noise of the dome. By the way,
I've seen a game at St. Lou and let me be the first to tell you
that it is a dump. Show me someone who says he's a big Rams fan
and I'll show you someone who was still talking about Big Mac until
he heard the Rams were 13-3. Rams, 34-6.
Have
a different opinion? Send
me an e-mail and I'll tell you where
you've gone wrong.
The Standings
| The
Guru |
119-63 |
Trying
to keep his chins up. |
| The
Norvell |
43-54-1
|
Best
playcaller in the game (football). |
| The
Swamp Fox |
34-80-1
|
Birth
records link him to Pete Carroll. |
Tell the Guru what you think
of his selections at AQB's Speak
Out board or e-mail
ArmchairQB.com.
Previous Crystal Balls
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