A
Mystery Movie
The Mystery Is Why This Hockey Flick Isn't A Better Movie
By David Kozo
Mystery,
Alaska
Starring: Russell Crowe, Hank Azaria and Burt Reynolds
Directed by: Jay Roach
Hollywood Pictures
119 minutes
Grade: C-
NEW YORK (AQB)--Mystery, Alaska, is a small, hockey-crazed town that's deep in the throes of a snow-blanketed winter, but trouble lurks behind the brilliant scenery. One of the town's players presumably is sleeping with half the wives in town. Another player suspects his wife is falling for her old flame. Another thinks his father is ashamed of him, while still another is having sex issues with his young girlfriend.
But, hey, if family melodrama isn't your bag, Mystery's also peppered with the kind of kooky characters we've come to expect from any far-north setting. And of course, there's the hockey, a fast, beautiful sport that's attractively filmed against a startling mountain backdrop. Yet somehow the film isn't moving or funny or even terribly exciting. A project with such a strong pedigree and dynamic cast should have been better.
Mystery, Alaska -- co-written by David E. Kelley, the Zelig-like creator behind half the shows on TV (The Practice, Ally McBeal, others), and directed by Jay Roach, who did the Austin Powers movies -- sets the scene by introducing us to the town's Saturday intrasquad club game, in which the cream-of-the-crop square off against one another in a heated event that's attended by the whole community.
However, there are limited spots for the Saturday pond game, and being called up to the team is tantamount to being promoted to the NHL. We learn this when John Biebe, the town's burly sheriff played by Russell Crowe (L.A. Confidential), is demoted to make room for young hotshot Stevie Weeks (Ryan Northcott). Biebe is called into the mayor's office to hear the news, and word spreads so fast that within hours no one in town can look him in the eye.
This is serious stuff. When discussing one local who played 2A college hockey but never in the local game, it's said, "College 2A isn't the Saturday game."
Enter Charlie Danner (Hank Azaria), a Mystery native who's now a sportswriter in New York. Danner's Sports Illustrated cover story on the Mystery hockey club draws the attention of the NHL brass, who think it's a great idea to send the New York Rangers up to Mystery to play an exhibition game during the NHL All-Star break.
At first the locals are skeptical because Charlie is the town outcast, both because he actually left the town and because he can't skate. But they ultimately agree and construction begins on a spanking new stadium, complete with lights and a scoreboard. After some legal wrangling with the NHL players union, which understandably objects to the game, it's a go.
Hockeywise, of course, we're asked to suspend much disbelief. Even if this game were to happen over the All-Star break, the Rangers probably wouldn't be willing to get into such physical wrangling with the Mystery men. Sure, the locals can skate, but they'd never match up in size with the Rangers, especially since they're playing with basically two lines, while the Rangers have their full team. And the Rangers appear to have no defensemen as the Mystery club enjoys one breakaway after another.
But the hockey scenes aren't the real problem. The various family dramas are way overwrought, with swelling music and tightening camera shots just in case you don't catch the drama on your own.
There are few laughs. Somebody needs to tell filmmakers, not just these, that there's nothing inherently funny about scenes involving (a) awkward teen-age sex and (b) small children using swear words, yet these are both played up for maximum yuks.
In some ways the film resembles the recent teen-football-sex romp Varsity Blues. Like that film, this one is clearly calculated to include just enough objectionable material to secure an R rating and draw in the horny teenage set. Varsity Blues did that and performed pretty well at the box office; one wonders whether Disney executives noticed that earlier this year and ordered some extra raunchy scenes for this film. It certainly feels that way.
Most of the cast has done better work than in this film, but it's still an interesting group. Burt Reynolds plays the town's crusty judge who winds up coaching the team, while Irish actor Colm Meaney (The Snapper) plays a key role as the mayor. Ron Eldard, looking vaguely like Wayne Gretzky in his hockey helmet, plays the womanizing "Skank" Marden, and Mike Myers shows up in a hilarious cameo as a TV commentator.
But the strongest performance is by Mary McCormack as the wife of veteran player Biebe. She shines as a woman who wonders just what's beyond the snowy peaks of Mystery, although her performance is almost deflated by a silly subplot involving Azaria's character.
Much
care was given to the look of the town - press notes point out that
the studio built it from scratch in an Alberta prairie - and the mood
of the picture, with Carter Burwell's icy score highlighting the blindingly
white scenery. Early montage scenes depict small-town boys playing the
game they love, oblivious to modern interference - like Hoosiers
on ice. These are the movie's strengths, and the filmmakers should have
stuck with that course.
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