WEEK 13 CRYSTAL BALL - THURSDAY: Seahawks and Cowboys Tussle in Big D
My friends, there’s an NFL showdown in the DFW Metroplex tonight with the Seahawks (6-5, 2-3 away) facing the Cowboys (8-3, 5-0 home) at 8:15 pm ET on Amazon Prime Video.
Anti-vegetable crusader Al Michaels and former Ohio State Buckeye Kirk Herbstreit will be in the booth with Kaylee Hartung covering the action from the sidelines. Jeff Bezos will be counting his cash in an undisclosed location.
In case you missed it in the Week 10 Ball - and judging by readership data, you did - the 79-year-old Michaels has never knowingly eaten a veggie. That’s right. Not a one. Please take a listen to the clip. It’s worth your 60 seconds.
As someone who avoided greens and the like into my early 20s, I tip my cap to the soon-to-be octogenarian but would love to ask him a few pointed questions:
1. How’s life without French fries? Or onion rings?
2. What’s your annual Metamucil budget? Give or take 25k.
3. Does Herbstreit gets hazard pay for being in an enclosed booth with you for three hours?
As for tonight’s on-field action, Dallas is a pretty heavy favorite and that makes sense given how the Cowboys have thumped opponents at home this season.
How dominant has Mike McCarthy’s crew been in AT&T Stadium? Well, last week’s 45-10 win against My Beloved Commies marked the smallest lead Dallas has held entering the fourth quarter (10 points) as well as the first time they’ve allowed a 100-yard receiver (Curtis Samuel) or given up 300 yards passing (Slingin’ Sammy Howell). That would indicate that they’ve been pretty good.
This week’s opponent, Seattle, has had a bit of an up-and-down season though, if the playoffs were to take place today, the Seahawks would occupy the second wild-card slot. But they’ve got a big challenge ahead of them tonight.
It’s easy to see the Cowboys rolling over the visitors with one significant caveat: few guys rally the troops like Seattle’s Pete Carroll.1 Maybe Gibbs, maybe Schwarzkopf, maybe Belushi.
I see the key as the Seahawks’ ability to neutralize the fierce Dallas pass rush, which is fourth in the league in sacks. Seattle will be missing starting right guard Phil Haynes who is now on injured reserve with a toe injury, bringing to mind this classic clip.2
RIP Della Reese and maybe the ‘Hawks if they can’t deal with the Cowboys’ D. Into the breach likely steps rookie guard Anthony Bradford, a fourth-round pick out of LSU. Pro Football Focus ranks his performance 81st among NFL guards in 2023.
Best of luck, young man. And have yourself a day.
Let’s call it Dallas, 37-20.
Last week’s 11-5 (.688) record bumped the season mark to 117-65 (.643) but it feels like there’s nowhere to go but down, folks. Let’s see what happens tonight.
Enjoy the game and God bless!
At 71 years old, the hard-charging Carroll is the NFL’s oldest head coach though he’s almost a decade younger than our current president. Only Marv Levy (72), George Halas (72) and Romeo Crennel (73) were older when they roamed the sidelines.
If you’ve never seen “Harlem Nights,” you’re missing out. Reese, Eddie Murphy, Robin Harris, Peoria native Richard Pryor and the last film appearance by Redd Foxx. Some great comedy. A few too many f-bombs, perhaps, but highly comedic nonetheless.