Week 14 Crystal Ball: At Last, a Bye
My friends, THE GURU is relieved that the bye week for My Beloved Commies has arrived so yours truly and my mates can take a respite after beatdowns by Dallas and Miami. In fact, I can’t stop singing.
I’ll spend part of my restful weekend in Foxborough, Mass., and, thankfully, I won’t be watching the Patriots. Instead, it’ll be the 124th edition of Army-Navy which, though a far cry from Lehigh-Lafayette, is still a heck of a way to spend a Saturday.
THE TRE MAN and some of his buddies will tag along and the organizer for the day is none other than my pal THE COLBY MULE. He’s a resident of TriBeCa and every bit a simple man. He likes his trucks from Chevrolet, his beers from The King and his football any way he can get it.
THE MULE is also a huge Pats fan but, along with our feelings, the precipitous downfall of his football team is never a topic of conversation. And that means we won’t chat about tonight’s game, with his Patriots (2-10, 1-4 away) visiting the Steelers (7-5, 4-3 home) at 8:15 pm ET on Amazon Prime Video.
While Pittsburgh has a decent shot to make the playoffs, New England is a shell of its old self, leaving one to wonder where the bedrock franchise goes from here. But, I said I wouldn’t discuss it, so we’ll leave it to the talking heads at ESPN and the like.
Let’s say Pittsburgh, 12-11.
After last week’s 8-5 (.615) record, the season mark sits at 125-70 (.641) as we enter the campaign’s final month. Let’s check out this week’s action with My Beloved Commies (4-9) and the Cardinals (3-10) enjoying the final bye week of 2023.
1 PM ET - FOX
I like the Lions (9-3, 5-1 away) at Chicago (4-8, 2-3 home) as visiting Dee-troit sweeps the season series for the second year in a row. With a commanding three-game lead in the NFC North, Dan Campbell’s crew is a shoo-in for the postseason and, with some luck, could snag the conference’s second seed. Still, I think they’re a year away from being a major contender for the NFC title…
…Carolina (1-10, 0-7 away) falls at New Orleans (5-7, 2-3 home). The Saints are reeling from last week’s tough loss to the Lions, but they’ll have more than enough firepower to take down the Panthers. The further we get from last season, the more impressive it is that Steve Wilks coached Carolina to a 6-6 record down the stretch in 2022. That’s why he was my choice for coach of the year…
…go with the host Ravens (9-3, 4-2 home) against the plucky Rams (6-6, 3-3 away) as the Baltimore defense keeps Stafford & Co. in check.
An interesting Baltimore/LA story: Did you know that NFL owners in these two cities once completed the craziest sports trade ever, with the owners swapping franchises in 1972? Carroll Rosenbloom got the Rams in the deal and Bob Irsay got the Colts.
Seven years later, Rosenbloom drowned in Miami and his wife, the former Georgia Hayes, got the Rams franchise. A year later, in 1980, Georgia said “I do” for the sixth time and became Georgia Frontiere, pulling within striking distance of nine-time bride Zsa Zsa Gabor. She went through husbands like THE CHIEF through a pound of deli ham.
1 PM ET - CBS
I like Atlanta (6-6, 4-2 home) against visiting Tampa Bay (5-7, 2-4 away). Arthur Smith has done an admirable job with this club and should be applauded…
…the Colts (7-5, 5-1 away) fall at Cincinnati (6-6, 3-3 home) in a battle of two teams that are fun to watch. Gardner Minshew for President!…
…Jacksonville (8-4, 5-0 away) loses at Cleveland (7-5, 5-1 home). Here’s betting that Myles Garrett is licking his chops at the prospect of chasing down a gimpy Trevor Lawrence…
…take the Texans (7-5, 2-3 away) at the Jets (4-8, 2-5 home). It’s good to see Zach Wilson get another shot this week, but a shame for him that it comes against a Texans club that is playing tremendous ball. Here’s betting the Jets’ afternoon will be as long as the buffet line at a Lehigh o-line reunion.
4:05 PM ET - FOX
Minnesota (6-6, 4-2 away) wins at Las Vegas (5-7, 4-2 home). The bloom is off the Passtronaut’s rose but I still like the Vikes to rise up and get a win. Kevin O’Connell is proving to be one heck of a coach, not surprising for a guy who came up under Bill Belichick.
Seattle (6-6, 2-4 away) at San Fran (9-3, 4-1 home). The Niners are on some kind of roll - brioche, anyone? - and I don’t see Seattle stopping them. Sure, the Seahawks will compete, but it just won’t be enough. Figure an eight-point San Fran win.
4:25 PM ET - CBS
Buffalo (6-6, 1-4) at Kansas City (8-4, 4-2). This is an interesting game between two teams that have underwhelmed a bit but don’t be fooled: they’re still both very good. Buffalo is fifth in the NFL in point differential (+101) and the Chiefs are sixth (+67). I’ll take the Bills in an upset but expect KC to be in the mix when the postseason comes around.
Denver (6-6, 2-3 away) at LA Chargers (5-7, 2-4 home). It’s amazing that an offense with Justin Herbert can be held to six points but, hey, it happened last week in New England. History won’t repeat itself, but the LA defense won’t pitch another shutout either. Denver, 22-21
8:20 PM ET - NBC
Philadelphia (10-2, 5-1) at Dallas (9-3, 6-0). After the Eagles beat the Cowboys last month in Philly, I still felt like Dallas was the better team. And I’m not changing my tune. Philly is much better than it looked vs San Fran last week but there have been cracks in the Eagles façade all year – heck they almost lost twice to My Beloved Commies – and I think they’ll drop a big one this week. Dallas by three.
MONDAY, 8:15 PM ET - ESPN
Tennessee (4-8, 0-6 away) at Miami (9-3, 5-0 home). If you’ve followed the Titans from their Houston days, there’s one thing you think about when they meet the Dolphins: Earl Campbell, Bum Phillips and the Luv Ya Blue Oilers. They should sit back and reminisce because they’re gonna get pummeled this week. Dolphins by 17.
Green Bay (6-6, 2-4 away) at NY Giants (4-8, 2-3 home). Raise your hand if you saw a Jordan Love-Tommy DeVito duel coming. I wasn’t speaking to you, Mrs. Devito. Let’s say Packers by two.
That’s all for this week, folks. Enjoy the games and God bless!