Week 17 Crystal Ball - Weekend: Making Memories with THE TRE MAN
Week 17 Crystal Ball - Weekend: Making Memories with THE TRE MAN
My friends, it was another week - and another painful defeat - in Commieville last Sunday but, boy, did my son and I have a blast taking it all in.
The setting was lovely Naples, Fla., as, along with THE FAIR CLAUDINE aka THE PHILLY FILLY, we were visiting my folks and my sister, MISS SIXPOINTS1. There was football on so, of course, we were obliged to watch.
My Beloved Commies were facing the Jets and, in spite of our 4-10 record, my son and I were excited for the afternoon. After all, in the previous seven games, New York failed to crack double digits four times so our boys had a chance.
Then, the hosts kicked off and, after DC turned it over on the game’s second play, the NYJ went to work, piling up points like Pistol Pete Maravich. Indeed, with 9:44 left in the first quarter, it was already 17-0, Jets, and THE TRE MAN was on the brink.
The onslaught continued and, by the time the first-half dust settled, New York held a 27-7 lead as, for all intents and purposes, the game looked as finished as my breakfast sandwich. That’s when the improbable happened and the Commies stormed back.
First, backup QB Jacoby Brissett hit tight end Logan Thomas with a 15-yard strike to make it 27-14. Great, a cosmetic step towards respectability. I’ll take it.
That’s when THE CHIEF left home with my mom, wife and sister to save seats at church for the pending 4:30 pm Christmas Eve service. THE TRE MAN and I decided to stay at the house for a few more minutes to catch the rest of the proceedings before making our way.
Moments later, things got interesting when rookie running back Chris Rodriguez plunged in from a yard away to cut New York’s lead to 27-21. It was the youngster’s second TD of the day - and his career - and Tre and I were at full throat.
Ninety seconds later, DC forced another Jets punt and, with 4:55 remaining, running back Antonio Gibson scored from two yards out to tie the game. Joey Slye drilled the extra point and, most improbably, it was 28-27, Commies.
When Gibson crossed the goal line, my son and I leapt for joy and danced giddily in my parents’ living room, acting as if we’d just punched our ticket to the Super Bowl.
Still, there was plenty of football left and, with my iPhone reading 4:15 pm ET, it was time to head to church.
Taking advantage of the commercial break, we dashed to the car to make the four-minute drive to St. Finnbar Parish. My son clutched my phone with eyes glued to the action and he did a magnificent play-by-play job with yours truly behind the wheel.
Alas, with two minutes remaining and the ball, the Commies failed to salt the game away and quickly punted to the appreciative Jets, who took over with 1:41 remaining. We were in the church parking lot now, breathing heavily in the car, as parishioners streamed past our vehicle on their way to worship the savior.
As the clock ticked closer to 4:30 pm, we continued to watch as New York third-string QB Trevor Siemian sliced and diced My Beloved Commies like a Frankenstein-ish combination of Joe Montana and Johnny Unitas. Inevitably, with 10 seconds left, Jets kicker Greg “The Leg” Zuerlein’s powerful right foot shattered our hopes and dreams, splitting the uprights from 54 yards away for a 30-28 New York victory.
Moments later, we strolled into church and sang the opening hymn, surrounded by family and grateful for the gifts of faith and football. Even a tough loss is palatable when I get to watch it with my son.
The afternoon reminded me of a memorable time with my dad - exactly 28 years earlier - as I visited my family for the holidays. It was December 24, 1995, and with midnight church service hours away, THE GURU and THE CHIEF set off for Kouri’s Pub in Peoria, Ill., my old man’s favorite place to catch his Redskins.
Under second-year head coach Norval Turner2, the Skins were 5-10 entering the season’s final week but they’d been competitive with seven of the defeats coming by one score. The finale matched them against Carolina, an expansion team with a 6-9 mark.
Both teams were headed home for the holidays, but Pops and I had a blast that day as we snacked like champions3, had a couple of beers and sang “Hail to the Redskins” every time our guys scored.
In the end, Washington prevailed, 20-17, and it was a wonderful Christmas weekend indeed. In fact, watching my team with my dad was one of the best presents I could get.
Another welcome gift would be a few good picks as the 2023 season record stands at 149-87 (.631). We head into the weekend with 15 contests on the slate and no Monday nighter due to the College Football Playoff games. Let’s do this.
SATURDAY
8:15 pm ET, ABC/ESPN/ESPN2/ESPN+
Dee-troit (11-4, 6-2 away) at Dallas (10-5, 7-0 home)
Cowboys coach Mike McCarthy faced the Lions 25 times when he led the Packers from 2006-18 and posted a blistering .720 winning percentage against the division rival. But, when he sees Dan Campbell’s team this week, he’ll witness a decidedly different operation wearing Honolulu blue.
Campbell played for the Cowboys from 2003-05 under Bill Parcells and Sean Payton, two of his mentors, tasting the postseason in ‘03. I think they’re probably pretty proud of what the Detroit coach has accomplished.
It’ll be interesting to see what both coaches have up their respective sleeves tonight. I expect a back-and-forth game with the Cowboys pulling it out in the end. Take Dallas by three.
SUNDAY, 1 PM ET, CBS
I like the host Bills (9-6, 6-2 home) against the Patriots (4-11, 3-4 away) though the game will be tighter than many of us expect…
…the Bears (6-9, 4-3 home) beat visiting Atlanta (7-8, 2-5) for their fifth win in seven weeks. It’s starting to look more and more like Chicago won’t be using the first overall 2024 NFL Draft pick - secured from Carolina - on a quarterback…
…Las Vegas (7-8, 2-5 away) rides into Indianapolis (8-7, 3-4 home) and squeaks past the Colts. Raiders coach Antonio Pierce and the Colts’ Shane Steichen have both done an outstanding job in 2023…
…Carolina (2-13, 0-8 away) continues its limp to the finish line with a blowout loss at Jacksonville (8-7, 3-5 home). These two teams entered the league in 1995 with both still searching for that elusive first Super Bowl victory. The Jags are obviously much closer than the Panthers, but Doug Pederson & Co. still have lots of work to do if they want to join the league’s elite…
…the Ravens (12-3, 5-2 home) take down the visiting Dolphins (11-4, 4-3 away). I do believe in Miami but it’s tough to go against red-hot Baltimore at home. Tua must be decisive in the pocket to give the Fins a chance.
SUNDAY, 1 PM - FOX
I see the Rams (8-7, 3-4) getting a win at the Giants (5-10, 3-3 home). Sean McVay’s team is playing with purpose while New York is jockeying for draft position…
…Philly (11-4, 6-1 home) struggles early but beats the visiting Cardinals (3-12, 1-7 away) as former Eagles defensive coordinator Jonathan Gannon returns to the City of Brotherly Love. Feels like Arizona is much better than its record but, when you’ve only got three wins, you’ve got miles and miles to go…
…the Saints (7-8, 3-5 away) fall at the Bucs (8-7, 4-3 home) as Tampa secures the NFC South championship with HONG KONG MIKE and his family in the stands. I see a big sandwich in Mike’s hands and a big contract in Baker Mayfield’s future…
…San Fran (11-4, 6-2 away) blows into DC (4-11, 1-5 home) and manhandles the Commies. There are a lot of Niners with revenge on their mind, beginning with head coach Kyle Shanahan, whose father was canned by the Skins in 2013. This one is likely to be uglier than the group photo at a Lehigh o-line reunion….
…in a battle of Houston teams, past and present, the Texans (8-7, 5-3 home) beat the visiting Titans (5-10, 1-6 away). Tennessee has to go back to the drawing board in the offseason and figure out what they need to do to be competitive. They’ve got a terrific head coach in Mike Vrabel, of course, but there are plenty of questions to answer after that.
4:05 PM - FOX
Take Seattle (8-7, 5-2 home) over Pittsburgh (8-7, 3-3 away) in the friendly confines of Lumen Field. I’d love to take Tomlin, but his Steelers are a bit too schizophrenic for my taste and I trust Pete Carroll in spots like this one4.
4:25 PM - CBS
The Chargers (5-10, 3-4 away) surprise the Broncos (7-8, 4-4 home) in Denver. The Russell Wilson situation is madness, and that means the NFL Players Association will soon be on Sean Payton like FATBACK on a hot dog cart…
…Cincinnati (8-7, 3-4 away) upsets the host Chiefs (9-6, 4-4 home) as KC loses for the fifth time in seven games. Maybe ex-Kansas City offensive coordinator Eric Bieniemy was more important than we thought, eh?
8:20 PM - NBC
I love the Packers (7-8, 3-5 away) to win at Minnesota (7-8, 2-5 home) with the Vikes starting rookie Jaren Hall, their fourth quarterback in nine weeks. Hey, the youngster from BYU may prove to be an excellent player but, in this spot, against a desperate Green Bay outfit, I’m rolling with the visitors.
Other “rolls” I expect this weekend: cinnamon, pecan and, if all goes well, sausage. Enjoy the games, folks, and God bless!
Sis earned the nickname as it was once said that, when she watched, it was worth six points for the boys in DC. Alas, when you’re bludgeoned 37-6, that TD doesn’t mean a whole heck of a lot.
Turner arrived in Washington after a very successful stint as offensive coordinator for the Cowboys under Jimmy Johnson, winning two Super Bowls. Prior to becoming a coach, he played collegiately at the University of Oregon, where he backed up future Pro Football Hall of Famer Dan Fouts. The star QB once said that, in Eugene, there were two kinds of passes: “a spiral and a Norval.”
I vividly remember taking advantage of the bar’s free cheese board that day, going through more crackers than a mountain full of hikers. And I don’t regret it.
Interestingly, this is only the fifth meeting between Messrs. Tomlin and Carroll with both men owning a 2-2 record against the other. This could be a fun one.