WEEK EIGHT CRYSTAL BALL - WEEKEND: GURU Enters the Belly of the Beast
Published continually since 1994
My friends, LE GURU may have bitten off more than he can chew this weekend.
That’s a metaphor, of course, as I’m known to swallow crocodile-style, devouring meals like a silver-maned Joey Chestnut. Instead, I’m speaking of football as I travel westward to see My Beloved Commies (3-4, 1-3) visit the resurgent Chiefs (4-3, 3-1).
The good news is that I’ll be in the stands at Arrowhead with my boy Calvin and his adoring wife, the aptly named BUFFY THE FATBACK SLAYER. I was on scene in October 2004 in KC when my guy fell head over heels for the lovely lass and he’s been knee-deep in the local barbecue scene ever since.
With Jayden Daniels missing another game and MBC’s defense hobbled like James Caan in “Misery,” the Skins are huge underdogs to Andy Reid’s perennial powerhouse. But I’ve got hope and, sometimes, that’s all a brother needs.
The Chiefs and Washington haven’t played often, but hope has been our mantra in the series, which KC owns to the tune of 10-1, including a 5-0 mark at Arrowhead. That’s right, we’ve only beaten these dudes once.
The lone Skins win was a 27-12 triumph in 1983 with Joe Gibbs & Co. in the midst of one of the most dominant seasons in NFL history. A 14-2 regular-season record with a pair of one-point losses and a still unsurpassed +43 turnover margin.
KC’s highlights that afternoon? A quartet of Nick Lowery field goals, including a 58-yarder that was the third longest in league history. Lowery kicked for the Pats (1978), Chiefs (1980-93) and Jets (1994-96), retiring as the second most accurate kicker in NFL annals.
If my guys can hold the Chiefs to field goals on Monday night, we’ve got a shot but, alas, Mahomes & Co. aren’t setting for kicks lately. I see Washington putting up a brave fight but, in the end, it’ll be too much of a hill to climb. Call it Chiefs, 34-21.
Thursday night’s Chargers’ win improved the season mark to 60-48 (.555). Let’s go to the rest of the games with Arizona (2-5), Dee-troit (5-2), Jacksonville (4-3), the Rams (5-2), Las Vegas (2-5) and Seattle (5-2) on the bye.
SUNDAY, 1 PM ET - CBS
FISHBOY heads north in search of a much-needed win but his Dolphins (1-6, 0-4 away) fall at Atlanta (3-3, 2-1 home) with nary a shrimp and grit to show for it. It’s already been a long year in Miami…
…no Lamar Jackson means no chance of victory as Baltimore (1-5, 1-3 home) falls to the visiting Bears (4-2, 2-1 away)…
…the Jets (0-7, 0-2 away) lose at Cincinnati (3-4, 2-1 home) in the Bruce Coslet Legacy Bowl. The former Bengals tight end (1969-76) served time as head coach of the Jets (1990-93) and Cincy (1996-2000) during his 30+ years in the NFL…
SUNDAY, 1 PM ET - FOX
Take the Bills (4-2, 1-1 away) at Carolina (4-3, 3-0 home) as THE FRANKLINVILLE KID - our favorite Buffalo fan turned N.C. carpetbagger - drinks it in like a fine wine…
…San Fran (5-2, 3-1 away) keeps it rolling in Houston (2-4, 1-1 home) as Niners head coach Kyle Shanahan returns to the city he called home with the Texans from 2006-09…
…New England (5-2, 1-2 home) tops visiting Cleveland (2-5, 0-3 away) in a matchup of two franchises headed in opposite directions…
…the Giants (2-5, 0-4 away) fall at Philadelphia (5-2, 2-1 home) with hosts gaining a measure of revenge after their loss to the Jints earlier this month. AJ Brown is out for Philly so look for the Birds to pound the rock early and often.
4:05 p.m. ET — FOX
I love Tampa (5-2, 3-1 away) at New Orleans (1-6, 1-3 home) in a laugher. Don’t look now but this Saints club could give the organization’s 1980 team a run for its money. That squad finished 1-15 with the only victory a Week Fourteen triumph over the Jets.
4:25 pm - CBS
I’ll take the host Broncos (5-2, 3-0 home) over Dallas (3-3-1, 1-3 away) in an offensive slugfest. Over-under on the number of times Jerry Jones feels lightheaded in the Mile High City when his Cowboys are on defense: 11. Bet the over…
…Tennessee (1-6, 1-3 away) continues its struggles at Indianapolis (6-1, 4-0 home). Mike McCoy brings a fresh perspective in the head coach’s seat, but Steve McNair and Eddie George are not walking through that door. A rout of Little Big Horn proportions.
8:20 pm - NBC
Green Bay (4-1-1, 1-1-1 away) drops a tight one at Pittsburgh (4-2, 2-1 home) as Rodgers and Tomlin continue their Lazarus-like resurgence.
That’s all for this week, folks. Enjoy the games and God bless!