WEEK FIFTEEN CRYSTAL BALL - WEEKEND: Panic in the City of Brotherly Love
Published continually since 1994
My friends, THE GURU is here to calm the streets of Philadelphia.
Indeed, a level head is needed as there hasn’t been this much panic in the City of Brotherly Love since Rocky lost to Clubber Lang. Since yours truly took THE FAIR CLAUDINE off the market. Since Kerry ordered a cheesesteak with Swiss.
Folks, there isn’t a town in America that puts itself through more “the sky is falling” moments than Philly with the latest proof the team’s current three-game losing skid. The locals are absolutely apoplectic about it with loyal fans like TOMMY BIRD and READE STREET RICH plowing through Tums like Skittles and talk show hosts set to fire everyone from the long snapper to the guy who paints the hash marks.
Naturally, I’m consuming this unrest like an ice-cold lager and, I must say, it is most delicious. That said - and this is painful to utter - the concerns are overblown. This is still a damn good football team, and, unfortunately, they’ll be a force with which to be reckoned come January.
Think about it for a moment:
All three losses were to playoff caliber teams who are playing very well - the Bears, Cowboys and Chargers - with the Dallas and LA defeats on the road.
The Birds led each of those opponents in the fourth quarter.
Star right offensive tackle Lane Johnson missed all three games - a gargantuan loss - and stud defensive tackle Jalen Carter was out last week and will miss at up to three more weeks while recuperating from shoulder surgery.
The good news for Philly fans: the team is wobbly but not broken. Both Johnson and Carter will be back in time for the playoffs, and the defense still looks darn good.
Throw in the fact that three of Nick Sirianni’s final four games are against the Raiders (today) and My Beloved Commies (twice) - the other is at Buffalo - and an 11-6 record and an NFC East title is all but assured.
That said, LE GURU thought a Bucs win was a near certainty Thursday, but Messrs. Cousins and Pitts had alternate plans. The loss dropped the season record to 110-86 (.561). For shame.
On to the games as we enter the stretch run with no one on the bye…
1 PM ET – FOX
Expect the Browns (3-10, 1-5 away) to lose in Chitown (9-4, 4-1 home) as Cleveland misses the postseason for the 24th time since the franchise returned to the National Football League in 1999. That’s the kind of futility that makes a Washington fan feel better about his lot in life…
…I’ll take the host Giants (2-11, 2-3 home) vs. My Beloved Commies (3-10, 1-6 away) as the DC boys continue to face major injuries. Last week’s loss of Zach Ertz was a painful one, as was yet another knockout blow to Jayden Daniels. We’ll fight gamely but it probably won’t be enough in the snow at MetLife Stadium.
The caveat: if Washington can turn this one into a run-oriented affair, our stellar offensive line may be able to turn the tide. With workhorse RB Chris Rodriguez likely on the shelf with a groin injury, expect Jeremy McNichols to tote the rock often…
…Grudgingly, I’ll take the aforementioned Iggles (8-5, 4-2 home) against the visiting Raiders (2-11, 1-5 away). Kenny Pickett, who grew up a Birds fan in south Jersey, gets the start in place of the injured Geno Smith for Vegas…
…watch out for a bloodbath in Houston as the Texans (8-5, 4-2 home) take down the Cardinals (3-10, 2-4 away). Expect broadcasters Chris Myers and Mark Schlereth to be deep into their bag of blowout material by the middle of the third quarter.
1 PM ET – CBS
I think the Ravens (6-7, 3-2 away) lose at Cincinnati (4-9, 2-4 home) as Joe Burrow improves to 4-1 on the season. Baltimore looks like a team without confidence and that’s not ideal when you’re facing this quarterback…
…let’s go with the Chargers (9-4, 3-2 away) at the Chiefs (6-7, 5-2 home). Kansas City is the more desperate team but, if that were a good thing, my squad would be winning the Lombardi every year. The one-year blip continues for Mahomes & Co…
…I like the Pats (11-2, 5-2 home) to take down the Bills (9-4, 3-3 away) in Foxboro as Vrabel gets it done once again. This just in: leadership matters, folks. The man was in command as a player and is doing the same thing as a coach. Love him…
…the Jets (3-10, 1-4 away) lose a close one at Jacksonville (9-4, 5-2 home). New York coach Aaron Glenn isn’t big on moral victories but, when he looks at the film after the game, he’ll feel good about where his team is headed.
Crazy prediction: New York’s pro football teams will combine for at least a .500 record next season.
4:25 PM ET – FOX
Denver (11-2, 6-2 home) beats the Packers (9-3-1, 4-1-1 away) at Mile High. Like a good night of dancing, this one will come down to which side is the most physical. Bet on the Broncos to win a close one…
…the Lions (8-5, 4-3 away) lose to the Rams (10-3, 5-1 home) at SoFi. I’m expecting a high-scoring affair and opting in favor of the hotter quarterback. Yep, that Stafford is a handsome fella…
…Let’s take the Panthers (7-6, 3-4 away) at New Orleans (3-10, 1-5 home) as Carolina avenges last month’s loss to the Saints. As for Nola, rookie QB Tyler Shough definitely looks legit over the last month. Steal of the draft?…
…the Titans (2-11, 2-4 away) take the L at San Fran (9-4, 5-1 home). Unless Kyle Shanahan calls off the dogs, this one will be a beatdown of biblical proportions.
4:25 PM ET – CBS
I can’t summon the cojones to pick the struggling Colts (8-5, 5-2 away) at Seattle (10-3, 4-2 home). Sure, starting 44-year-old Philip Rivers at QB isn’t ideal for Indy but the bigger concern is how the running game is stuck in gear. Jonathan Taylor is averaging just 70 yards per outing over the past three weeks and that won’t get it done today.
8:20 PM ET – NBC/Peacock
In the nightcap, the Vikings (5-8, 3-4 away) lose in Dallas (6-6-1, 4-1-1 home). Will this late Cowboys push be good enough to get to the postseason? It seems unlikely but don’t be stunned if Dallas runs the table.
Monday 8:15 PM ET – ESPN/ABC
In the Week Fifteen finale, I’ll go with host Pittsburgh (7-6, 4-2 home) against Miami (6-7, 2-4 away). Something clicked for the Steelers in Baltimore last week and that has THE HOUSE OF SUSSEX all aglow.
That’s all for this week, folks! Enjoy the games and God bless!
Fantastic breakdown on why the Phily panic is premature. The injury context really does change how we should view this losing streak, especially with Lane Johnson out for all three games. I actualy went through a similar stretch following a team's rough patch, convincing myself it was all over until key guys came back and they turned it around in the playoffs.