My friends, THE GURU is ready for some Thursday night shenanigans, but, alas, THE FAIR CLAUDINE has other ideas. And that means there will be no barbecue smorgasbord for this guy.
This week’s game pits two teams that meet one another infrequently as Dee-troit (1-0, 0-0 road) travels to Buffalo (1-0, 0-0 home). Indeed, this is just the fourteenth contest between these franchises with the Bills holding an 8-4-1 edge, including back-to-back road wins in the Motor City in 2022 and 2024.
But, while they don’t match up often, the games are usually loads of fun with the past seven meetings - dating to 2002 - decided by a touchdown or less. And tonight, we’ve got Jared Goff vs. Josh Allen, Dan Campbell vs. Joe Brady, the Detroit Square Pie vs. Buffalo Wings.
Of course, both of these teams have checkered pasts, like Nicholas Cage’s character in the cinematic classic “Raising Arizona,” the 1987 Coen brothers film. But checkers come in very different forms.
The Bills have spent plenty of their NFL existence as bridesmaids - most notably their four straight Super Bowl appearances in the early 1990s - and have made the playoffs 21 times. Not too shabby even if they’ve never ascended to the ultimate mountaintop.
On the flip side, the Lions would typically surrender kidneys to be within a mile of the NFL altar. A league member since 1930, Detroit still has just nine postseason victories and only a couple of wins since the 1991 campaign. Both triumphs occurred in 2023.
Fast forward to 2026 and both teams are legitimate title contenders - and they’re also connected by a few illustrious pro football names. To wit:
Linebacker Chris Spielman, the Lions’ all-time leading tackler (1988-95) and the single-season tackling leader for the Bills (1996);
Joe Ferguson, the rugged quarterback who played professionally until age 45 including stints in Buffalo (1973-84) and Detroit (1985-87);
Marlin Briscoe aka “The Magician,” the first black starting quarterback in pro ball with the American Football League’s Denver Broncos in 1968. He suited up for six teams, including the Bills (1969-71) and the Lions (1975).
And then there’s Dick Jauron, the two-time Pro Bowl defensive back who played for the Lions (1973-77), was an assistant coach with the Bills (1985), served as defensive coordinator (2004-05) and interim head coach (2005) in Detroit, and was head coach in Buffalo (2006-09).
That’s a man drawn to rust like a 2010 Toyota and we haven’t even mentioned his time in locales like Green Bay (1986-94), Chitown (1999-2003) and Cleveland (2011-12).
All told, Jauron spent 36 years in the NFL - eight as a player and 28 as a coach - but I think what he did before he got to the league is just as interesting. You see, he didn’t matriculate at your average football factory.
No, he went to Yale. Yes, that Yale. The one in the Ivy League.
Of course, it’s not unheard of for the Bulldogs to send players to the NFL. The Elis currently have seven (!) men in the league, including Seattle safety Rodney Thomas and star Jacksonville linebacker Foyesade Olukon, one of the most durable players around.
THE GURU’s favorite Yalie? It’s got to be THE HACKENSACK BULLDOG, an elite lower Manhattan flag football coach who played offensive line in New Haven for four seasons before graduating in 1999. Though often mistaken for a placekicker due to his trim physique, our man was actually a stalwart center for Yale, anchoring the o-line in the late 1990s.
In 1998, our guy closed his career with a 9-7 upset win at Harvard, a huge victory for the Elis, assuring them of their first winning season in seven years. Linebacker Peter Mazza put it this way:
“We were picked eighth (in the Ivy League) and Harvard was picked first this year. Internally, our 110 guys that make up a family and our coaching staff never thought we were the Cinderella story. But still, for us to go preseason number eight all the way to where we did - phenomenal.”
For his efforts in 1998, THE HACKENSACK BULLDOG was named Honorable Mention All-Ivy League while also earning two major Yale Football distinctions:
1. The Jordan Olivar Award - “Given to that senior, other than the captain, who, through his devotion to Yale football, has earned the highest respect of his teammates”
2. The Gregory Dubinetz Memorial Trophy - “Given to the lineman who best exemplifies the spirit of Gregory Dubinetz as a player and person”
Not bad for a kicker, eh?
As for tonight, you can catch the action at 8:15 pm ET on Prime Video as Monsieur Bezos simultaneously slips his hands into all four of your pockets. It should be a fun one and I’m rolling with the hosts. Let’s say BILLS, 33-31
One last note: LE GURU’s Week One record was 12-4 (.750), a sure sign that I’ll be plummeting to earth like FATBACK HOBBS in a rented hammock.
That’s all for now, folks. Enjoy the games and God bless.